I own a mutt. He wants to be a dog but all he does is mutt things. He is very happy.
I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio in the early sixties to a young couple who thought The Beatles sounded "tinny". After many failed attempts to adopt me out, they finally gave up and decided to keep me. For entertainment, my dad would have me shovel all the snow off of the yard into the driveway just so he could crash through it with his brother's Corvair. In the seventies, we migrated to Arizona where they forced me to dig for water for the family. This is where I learned the meaning of hard work and sunburn. After I discovered the royalty checks coming from Saturday Night Live, I realized that they are actually from the planet Remulac and I started referring to them as "The Units". They, of course, deny this and claim to be from Sweden or Germany.