Sometimes you lose some, sometimes you gain some. For Kwon Yuri, she lost her will for freedom that morning she discovered she was 11 weeks pregnant.
Since the return from the vacation house she had worked hard to accustom herself to the king bedroom with Kai. It was extremely awkward and she fought hard to ward those feelings off. On a part, she was afraid she would upset him. Not that she ever knew when he was upset or not, but sometimes she thought she could feel it from the gaze in his eyes that he wanted to ask for more and was afraid to do so.
In her head she had mentally drawn a boundary on the bed. She never crossed that line. However in the middle of the night she would feel him move closer and worked hard to pretend that she was deep asleep. Kai never seemed to notice her pretention and it was a relief for her.
They weren’t an intimate couple, whether in bed or not. Yuri really minded her own business, would talk with him sometimes, and she did leave him messages if she ever went out, but she made no move to ever touch him. There were moments here and there when he tried to hold her, but Yuri found herself moving away or she’d use an excuse to leave.
After he’d kissed her, after she’d allowed him to draw her in at the vacation house, Yuri felt foreign even to herself. She felt like a lost soul. Even if she tried to keep the marriage together or went out mindlessly, she didn’t know what she wanted. A part of her would cry for the freedom left behind and another part of her would tell her it was only right to stay. But she didn’t love him and it felt like torture.
Yuri’s heart ached for a long time until the morning she returned from the doctor who had confirmed her pregnancy. Freedom had sworn her goodbye.
Her fingers had merely trembled when she climbed up the stairs and stopped outside of the bedroom. The fact stunned her mind blank. A life was growing inside her and it was something Kai had given her without any feelings, without love. At the back of her head she could hear their parents screams of joy, but how would Kai react when she was like this? Yuri didn’t want to be pregnant. This child…she didn’t want him.
Nervously blinking her eyes she opened the door to their large bedroom and stepped inside. Kai was still asleep and didn’t budge when she stepped in. Yuri gulped and gripped her hands together before staring down at him. There were bitter feelings deep in the pit of her heart, but she couldn’t act upon them. He had kissed her so hard at the vacation house and if she hadn’t acted on impulse, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.