for ways to help make the classroom an engaging and comfortable place. "Meet with the teacher and work out a plan," says Meg Zweiback, a nurse practitioner, family consultant, and associate clinical professor at the University of California at San Francisco.
Bring his interests to school. For example, if your child is fascinated by bugs but bugs haven't been talked about much at school, let him bring his collection to the classroom. Make sure the teacher doesn't force your child to make a formal presentation, but ask her to set up an opportunity for your child to talk or answer questions. The teacher could hold a bug discussion using your child's materials as the visual aids, or create a bug station based on your child's supplies.
Go to school. Your being in the classroom can help your shy child feel more comfortable at school. Your schedule may not allow regular or lengthy classroom visits, but even touching base now and then gives you a chance to observe. Most kids will consider a visit from Mom or Dad a special treat. "I'd go in and read to Julia's class," Lewis says. "It was helpful for me to know what was going on."
Set him up for success. If you can visit your child's classroom, see whether the games, projects, and activities there are a good match for your child, providing stimulation and opportunities for success. "Your child may be avoiding things because he doesn't think he can do them," says Dale Walker, a professor of child development at the University of Kansas in Lawrence.
Focus on his accomplishments. Don't just pay attention to the stumbling blocks. Doing fun and easy school activities at home is a wonderful way to ease participation fears. Most classes have favorite group songs, bellowed around the classroom or at least at music or circle time. Find out which ones your child enjoys, and make them part of the evening routine. If your child gains confidence in singing at home, this can rub off in the classroom.
Be his "student." Parent trainer Zweiback recommends that children role-play "school" at home with dolls and stuffed animals as a nonthreatening way to practice being in the classroom. "Set up a school with teddy bears, and let your child act it out," she says. You can help organize the game, and participate as one of the "students," but let your child steer the flow of the classroom. You may discover school fears, such as mean kids or a teasing teacher. If, as his "student," you can play lightly at being scared of the kids or the teacher, your child will find this very funny, and his laughter will help release some of his scary feelings so that he can be more confident. Talk about what's going on, ask your child questions, and use the information for talks with school staff.
for ways to help make the classroom an engaging and comfortable place. "Meet with the teacher and work out a plan," says Meg Zweiback, a nurse practitioner, family consultant, and associate clinical professor at the University of California at San Francisco.Bring his interests to school. For example, if your child is fascinated by bugs but bugs haven't been talked about much at school, let him bring his collection to the classroom. Make sure the teacher doesn't force your child to make a formal presentation, but ask her to set up an opportunity for your child to talk or answer questions. The teacher could hold a bug discussion using your child's materials as the visual aids, or create a bug station based on your child's supplies.Go to school. Your being in the classroom can help your shy child feel more comfortable at school. Your schedule may not allow regular or lengthy classroom visits, but even touching base now and then gives you a chance to observe. Most kids will consider a visit from Mom or Dad a special treat. "I'd go in and read to Julia's class," Lewis says. "It was helpful for me to know what was going on."Set him up for success. If you can visit your child's classroom, see whether the games, projects, and activities there are a good match for your child, providing stimulation and opportunities for success. "Your child may be avoiding things because he doesn't think he can do them," says Dale Walker, a professor of child development at the University of Kansas in Lawrence. Focus on his accomplishments. Don't just pay attention to the stumbling blocks. Doing fun and easy school activities at home is a wonderful way to ease participation fears. Most classes have favorite group songs, bellowed around the classroom or at least at music or circle time. Find out which ones your child enjoys, and make them part of the evening routine. If your child gains confidence in singing at home, this can rub off in the classroom.Be his "student." Parent trainer Zweiback recommends that children role-play "school" at home with dolls and stuffed animals as a nonthreatening way to practice being in the classroom. "Set up a school with teddy bears, and let your child act it out," she says. You can help organize the game, and participate as one of the "students," but let your child steer the flow of the classroom. You may discover school fears, such as mean kids or a teasing teacher. If, as his "student," you can play lightly at being scared of the kids or the teacher, your child will find this very funny, and his laughter will help release some of his scary feelings so that he can be more confident. Talk about what's going on, ask your child questions, and use the information for talks with school staff.
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