“Because I want you to suffer the way I have.”
I don't want to suffer like this. Youngjae thought, hiding his face between his knees. He wanted all of this to end, right now. Thoughts of suicide came into his mind but, he couldn't. Not yet. Youngjae had to stay alive, to make sure Himchan and his family were safe. That was his only reason for living now, to keep his family safe.
And if he was honest with himself -