An alien, a witch, and a robot walked into a bar. Which one’s which? Now, that’s the tricky part.
I suppose any Regular Joe walking into this place would see it as your typical neighborhood bar. But I’ve been coming here long enough to know different.
The witch, Leonora, she’s a regular around here. Who knows what kinds of potions and dark magic she uses to change her appearance, but whatever it is, she’s good at it. See her sitting there with that smug grin on her face? She knows she ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. Some of these witches that come in here, they ain’t that good. Around midnight, their disguise starts slipping, and all of the sudden that hot guy you were talking with starts to look more and more like some hideous old lady. Nah, I don’t mess with witches, man.
The gogo boy is an alien, I can tell you that for sure. Saw the poor guy getting taken over in the back room a couple of weekends ago. Thought he’d landed a real high-end tip from this nice older dude, then all of the sudden this squirmy little green guy hopped out of the older dude’s mouth and right into the gogo boy. The way I figure it, any alien who’s planning on being here for a while has to figure out a way to make some money, and anyone with a hot body and a halfway-decent sense of rhythm can jump up on a gogo box and dance for dollar bills. Gotta hand it to him for putting two and two together and figuring out how to make a living here on good ol’ Planet Earth.
Robots are a little bit harder to pick out from the crowd. Some of these nerds out there have really gotten good with programming their bots. They can make ‘em act however they want, and switch their personalities with the push of a button. I’ve heard of this guy who’s even figured out how to put that shit in an app. But my bet is on the bartender. If you’re gonna hire someone to put behind the bar, why not go with a bot? Program him to pour the perfect drink every time, make him friendly, but not too flirty. Have him keep the bar in tip-top shape. Switch him off at the end of the night and collect all of his tips for yourself. Yeah, the bartender’s a bot for sure.
What about me? I’m just a regular guy who just happens to have an eye for these kinds of things. I don’t have any magic potions or golden coins or shapeshifting superpowers, and I don’t know what I’d do with any of those things if I did have them. I just like coming here for the people watching, mostly. And for the stories, of course. I find it always makes for a good story or two.