Theory of mind
Understanding the existence of different mental states, how they are connected to each other, and how they influence what people do is called the child's theory of mind (Wellman 2014a). More simply, young children are in a sense becoming mind readers, and their advances in doing so are astonishing. Infants observe people acting intentionally to accomplish their goals. This helps them learn the meanings of words by connecting what adults are looking at and acting on when they talk (Woodward 2009).
The same developing brain that quickly absorbs knowledge is also a sponge for understanding how people think and feel.
By observing an adult's emotional expressions while the adult is eating, a toddler non-egocentrically figures out which food the adult prefers, even if it is food the toddler dislikes (Repacholi& Gopnik 1997). Toddlers also respond with empathy to the sight and sound of someone in distress (Davidov et al. 2013) and show simple forms of helping, sharing, and comforting (svetlova, Nichols, & Brownell is 2010). Somewhat later, 4-year-olds discover that people thoughts about the world that influence their feelings and actions, and that those thoughts might not be accurate (Wellman 2014b). Growing knowledge about mental processes provides the basis for later achievements, such as grade school children's knowledge of how to use thinking processes (such as concentrating on a difficult task) to accomplish their goals, and the discovery that differences in personality and background (including culture) can influence how people think.
If children so rapidly acquire understanding of other people's feelings, goals, and knowledge, why do they often act so egocentrically? The answer seems to be young children's limitations in self-regulation, rather than inherent egocentrism (Thompson 2009). When children struggle over sharing toys or tools, it reveals limits in self-control that appear as impulsive, inflexible behavior. Stated differently, self-regulation mediates between knowing and doing. Young children may be aware of another's goals and feelings, but acting appropriately on this knowledge requires self-regulatory abilities that are in the very early stages of development.
Guiding social interactions
Early education settings are rich with opportunities for experimenting with social interaction, thus enabling children of all ages to discover how people think and feel and how to respond to them. Teachers can be guides to these discoveries. The following approaches may be especially useful with preschoolers and kindergartners:
Role-play using puppets to enact familiar experiences. This helps children understand thoughts, feelings, and intentions, especially when they are part of a group conversation about characters' goals and children's ideas about how to accomplish them.
Explain to children the processes you use to guide your own thoughts and feelings. Voice the options available to you and describe the decision-making process you use when facing conflicting choices or goals.
Read picture books about familiar situations. Invite children to discuss the characters' social and emotional reactions and predict what will happen.
Provide a curriculum and classroom environment that supports purposeful play. Encourage children's active engagement with peers in complex play; observe, comment on, and provoke children's new perspectives about the behavior of others.
When children are in conflict, distracted, or emotionally aroused, teachers can do more, such as helping children regain mental focus so they can use their social and emotional knowledge for positive purposes. In this role, teachers scaffold the self-regulation the children lack.
Five-year-old Mateo, who is holding the steering wheel, really wants to play the role of bus driver. Ana, also 5, says, “I haven't been the driver all week.” Taking in her facial expression and tone of voice, Mateo stops pulling on the steering wheel. But his impulse to hold on tightly competes with his ability to think of an acceptable solution to this problem. Emilia, their teacher, notices this and steps closer to hold the steering wheel and help both children put into words their conflicting feelings and goals.
When teachers step in to provide a solution, they deny children the opportunity to build and apply their social our and emotional understanding. If they instead step close e to support self-regulatory skills, they can strengthen children's own abilities. One way Emilia could step close is to put Mateo's strong feelings into words and ask him to respond. Another option is to help Mateo talk about what Ana wants and what she is feeling right now. Finding words to convey strong feelings and desires helps young children regain self-control and mental focus; it also contributes to their understanding of other children's emotions and goals (Brownell et al. 2013).