My Effeminacy I started dressing in lingerie as a boy and the pleasure it gave me was at first very innocent but compulsive. Then in my early teens I began to realise that I may be gay and the thought both aroused me and disturbed me. Back then I thought that I must be the only boy in the World who dressed up in ladies undies, wore make up and dreamed of being a woman. Being gay was bad enough at the time but wanting to dress for a Man too was unthinkable even though I wanted to desperately. I tried to suppress my desires and was for many years reasonably successful although cross-dressed whenever the opportunity presented itself and fantasies about what it would be like to be made love to as an effeminate.