In contrast, people who blame the relationship itself believe that irreconcilable
differences made the breakup unavoidable. Because neither
partner is to blame for this incompatibility, people are likely to have few
regrets (neither remorse for their own actions nor hostility toward their
former spouses) and may find it relatively easy to develop a lifestyle and
identity apart from the marriage. In summary, we suggest that attributions
that avoid blame and define the divorce as an unfortunate but unavoidable
event are likely to generate the fewest negative emotions, and hence, best
facilitate adjustment. Of course, it also is possible that people who adjust
well to divorce tend to adopt attributions that blame the relationship rather
than a particular person or set of circumstances. Although it is not possible
to disentangle the direction of effects in this study, the two processes may
reinforce one another.