students experience more freedom and responsibility in college, relationships with parents and other significant people change. Freshmen, as well as their parents, may fear losing aspects of their relationship with each other. Frequent calls home from freshmen are common, especially during the first few months away at college. It may be very hard to say goodbye at the end of holiday or semester breaks. It may also be difficult to re-adjust to rules at home, such as curfews, chores or responsibilities for younger siblings. It is important to point out that parents also need to adjust during this period. They are dealing with their child becoming more independent in some ways, but still needing them too.
There are four things that can happen when students arrive unprepared. First, they can fail—and may accrue a substantial amount of debt for what is probably a waste of time and potential. Second, they may do much worse than they expect, and complain about their professors being “too hard” because they “always did well” before. Third, they find one or more of the growing number of professors who are so battered by the first two that they give in and award grades they don’t deserve. Or, fourth, they work hard, get better, and learn what they are supposed to learn. Only the last, of course, is desirable, and it is the least common.
Many students leave high school boyfriends or girlfriends when they go to college. There may be disagreement about whether it is ok to make new friends or see other people. One, or both, partners may struggle with feeling lonely, sad, or jealous, especially if the other partner seems to be happier and adjusting better.
Freshmen may also find that their relationships with friends from home are different after the time away at school. Some individuals feel closer and more appreciative of friends at home, and may stay very connected to them. Other students find they have less in common with friends from home after being away at school, or may be hurt by a friend becoming distant with them after high school.