I'm completely confused at this point but I do what he says and sit down on the couch still crying. He turns off the lights in the living room and I'm resigned to just sleeping on the couch when he pretty much demands that I go in the bedroom. He's EXTREMELY angry and I'm scared so I comply. He tells me to sleep at the head of the bed and he's sleeping at the foot because "I don't want you coughing on me and making me sick" I spend at least an hour trying to convince him to change his mind. His mind is made up. He tells me that at least when he ended things with his previous girlfriends he remained friends with them but with me there is NO WAY that we can be friends because I lied to him and put his health at risk. After a few more minutes I just gave up. He fell asleep without a problem. I was up the entire night feeling awful.
So morning comes, I wake him up to let him know that I'm getting ready to go.."You're leaving!?" I couldn't believe what he just said..I couldn't wrap my mind around it..I was completely confused. I apologized one last time, showered, got dressed and packed my belongings. He threw on his clothes and walked me down to the car. I said "I guess this is goodbye" and was about to get in my car when he suddenly grabbed me and hugged me like he was holding on for dear life. I start crying but then I stopped because it sounded like HE was crying..I let go of him and I see ONE tear running down his cheek. Then he tells me to take care of myself and make sure I take my meds like I'm supposed to and then he says "Call me and let me know how things are going with school" So I say, "You want me to CALL YOU!?" He says, "Yeah, you can call me." So as I'm getting in the car I tell him that I'll call him so he knows that I made it home okay and he's says okay. I get in, he waves as I drive away and I wave back. I'm completely confused by everything that just happened. He hates me the night before, the next day he's telling me to call him?
So I call him when I arrive home to let him know that I made it home okay. I tell him to take care. He calls me right back and tells me that he'll still help me with my credit situation that he had previously offered to help me with. I thank him and then I hang up.
So things start back up gradually at first. Just email exchanges regarding my credit, then it goes to Yahoo IM, then to phone calls. I ask him to meet me for coffee, we meet for drinks, we go to a movie, I get him a birthday gift and next thing you know I'm back to spending weekends at his apartment. The honeymoon phase was great, but of course he went back to mistreating me very quickly..but I still stayed.
My final D&D was Valentines Day weekend.
He came all the way to my apartment just to deliver a vase full of Roses. I was so thrilled. He planned a very romantic Valentines Day weekend for me. Everything was going great until one morning when I got up to use his computer, I took the computer out of sleep mode and suddenly there is his dating profile staring me in the face. He forgot to shut it down before he came to bed. While he was in another room I did some snooping of my own ( I hate myself for it..I stooped to his level) where I saw several messages between him and different women and each message said the same thing except for one woman who he seemed REALLY interested in meeting for lunch. Someone he met at a wedding. All of these messages were dated between October and up until Feb 15. The time that we were seeing each other. He was actually sitting on the computer chatting it up with women while he's supposedly having a romantic Valentines Day weekend with me. I gave him no clue about what I saw. I carried on as normal. It was eating me up inside. So when I got home I called him on his cell and at home. No answer. I sent him a message telling him that we needed to talk. No response. So I decided to voice my concerns via email. I told him everything. I said that I know we are not in a relationship but I would appreciate if he focuses on me when I'm with him and just stay off of the dating sites. The next day I get a nasty response accusing me of violating HIS privacy and how I'm not mature enough for an open relationship or ANY relationship for that matter so I was promptly discarded.
At that point I was FED UP. I responded with a nasty email of my own reminding him of the ways he's violated MY privacy and how I let it go. We exchanged a few more nasty emails..and I just told him to please send me my paperwork regarding my credit and that was all that I wanted from him at that point.
I wasn't aware of who he TRULY was but I went No Contact for about a month. I started to miss him so I sent a text to try and break the ice so to speak and I received a nasty response. I called twice..no response. After that I just sent a final email letting him know that being with him was not healthy for me and that I should've walked away a long time ago. I told him that I still cared for him and that I wish him the best. I still was unaware of what he is so at the time, I didn't see anything wrong with sending the email but now that I do, looking back at that I realize that was a HUGE mistake.
Once I discovered what he was, thanks to a friend, I immediately went NO CONTACT again and have been ever since (1.5 months in so far) . It's been difficult but it seems to get easier with each passing day.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I apologize for it being so long but he was a piece of work and I needed to vent.