How to handle aggressive behavior?
Keep calm: When a child is aggressive, two things are most important: Keep your voice and actions calm and under no circumstances respond with the same behavior. Secondly, respond quickly and stop your host child immediately. The child needs to know immediately that he did something wrong. If anyone was hurt, tend to the hurt child and then turn to the child that hit or bit.
Try to understand what happened: Try to figure out what is so frustrating to the child. Is someone teasing him? Is something going on in the home? Might he be jealous of a new baby? Try to make his playtime simpler, so that there is less to upset him. Encourage the child to “pretend” play, or fantasy play. When toddlers do this, we learn about what is on the child’s mind. If pretend-play reveals to you what is bothering him, try to deal with the source of his unhappiness.
Talk to the child: Let your toddler know that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and repeat the rule in your home: “No hitting.” Tell a toddler who bites or hits that you will not allow him to bite another person. Say, “John doesn’t like to be bitten. It hurts! John likes it when you touch him softly, like this.” Show him what a gentle touch is like. Then, keep your eye on him as closely as possible. If you see him getting angry or frustrated, suggest another activity.
Prevent aggressive behavior: Teach your host child how to express his frustration with words before it even begins. For example, teach him how to say “May I please have this back?” when the older sibling takes away a toy. Provide enough toys for all children, so that they don’t fight over it. Repeat the house rules before starting an activity, for example: “Remember to play nicely with each other.”
Praise good behavior: Praise your host child whenever he has done something good and especially when you observe improvement in his behavior, for example when he was very gentle or kind to another child or give the child more attention when he is playing nicely.
What if the aggressive behavior continues beyond toddler age?
icon-15The American Red Cross says that children older than 5 years should not be acting out frustrations by biting, hitting or kicking. Any form of aggression requires immediate attention. If you experience physical aggression from your host child, immediately speak with your host parents, so they can address that issue with their child.
Cultural Care Au Pair does not tolerate any physical aggression from a host child against an au pair. If at any moment Cultural Care is concerned about the au pair’s safety, we would remove the au pair from that family. Make sure you immediately inform your host family and your Local Childcare Consultant if you have any concerns regarding your own safety.