9. Limit yourself to one or two topics. Husbands and wives sometimes find that they have accumulated a long laundry list of complaints and grievances. When each one finally gets his or her turn to be the speaker, (s)he often tries to address too many subjects all at once. I call this common practice, "kitchen sinking," because the speaker is piling on everything, as the saying goes, "including the kitchen sink."
The urge to "kitchen sink" is understandable. For months or years you have felt misunderstood or not listened to at all. Now you finally have your spouse's attention. You feel as if you want to pack it all in now while you still have the chance.
Although it is quite prevalent, kitchen sinking is extremely counterproductive for a number of reasons. Firstly, the listener begins to lose patience by the third or fourth item on the speaker's list of complaints. More importantly, however, by kitchen sinking, the speaker has guaranteed that no one topic can be explored in depth. It is far better, therefore, for the speaker to be selective and choose to address only one, or at the most, two issues at each communication session.