Well, I appreciate you saying that. (Takes her arm off back of chair, now uses both hands to gesture.) You sound like you mean it. But I don't know where to go. (T: Mhm, Mhm, Mhm) I don't begin to know where to go. I thought that I had pretty well worked over most of my guilt, and now that this is coming up I'm disappointed in myself. (T: Mhm, Mhm) I really am. I want- I like it when I feel that no matter what I do, even if it's against my own morals or my upbringing, that I can still feel good about me. And now I don't. Like uh, there's a girl at work who sort of mothers me and she just- she- I think she thinks I'm all sweet, and I sure don't want to show my more ornery devilish side with her. I want to be sweet and it's so hard for me to - this all seems so new again (T: Mhm) and it's so disappointing.