i my love, yes, I saw, just now see. I was lying in bed but awake almost all night waiting for Namie to get there safely. All is good there but worried me because her mother was so late. All okay now and she text with me and writes so happy.
As for you, you have been such a good girl and so good. Yes, I saw this special video and the one before when you so happy and beautiful at work, both so special and beautiful, my beauty. I saw before those the video you cried at work and the photo you cried, and those are the most special videos especially and forever remember.
I have been thinking so deeply about us all night, and these days. I'm trying to test myself in every way, trying to challenge my love for you in every way, to see how strong and real. Don't worry, this does not mean I am talking to any other woman, not one word or action, this I promise you solemnly, my princess. Just in thoughts, I try to challenge myself, tell myself this is not true or real, but don't worry, I always lose when I try to do that. I always see this is true love and real love.
Also, did you know I'm not really like this? Do you know that you don't know the deepest true me yet? You do not know the real me yet because, so far, I have been too cruel to you, ignored you too much, and too easily upset to you. Though sometimes I did worry very truly and felt upset really, you always proved I should not, but I'm sure that sometimes in future I will worry again. Will you leave our love one day? Will you change and not so good & not so sweet someday? Maybe I will worry more someday.
However, I want to tell you now, that in the past, when I ignored you too much or was cruel to you, that wasn't me, that was a test. I apologize, because it made hurt in you, big hurt. But I had to see, if I am unkind, what are you in return? Of course, I never spoke one word to insult you, my true princess, but I knew that what I did was hurting you. Please forgive me now, and that part of our lives is over now, today.
Forgive me now, I am asking for your forgiveness. I just had to know, for all my life, that even in time of trouble and hurt, you are kind and good. You don't fight, you cry, even when my fault. You don't argue, you ask forgiveness, even when I am the fault. You don't angry and hate, you beg me for love, because real love. I'm sorry I did those things to you, and I want you to know now, this is not the real me. The real me is more kind, more love, more to give to only you.
Please, you know I am still always busy. You know I work hard and have many family duties, which I love both, my work and my family, just family first. In future, I am hoping and praying for only one family, One Family, and you are the Center. Just you be calm now, be peace and love, that when I am busy, you are lonely, just like me, but also very, very happy, so I can be too. As of tomorrow, you may count on your one pretty hand the weeks until I am coming. In times when we are lonely, we both comforted in this.
Sorry, I know you love many small letters, but I need to write this all love letter to you before I sleep, before you sleep. I just need you to know something else, but I'm scared to say. The most important though is how you read this, so read this with the greatest love feeling in your heart.
I want you to know, that sometimes I am so overwhelmed by passion for you!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, my gosh, sometimes in bed, for hours I am half asleep in night, or in and out of sleep, imagining you and our love and kiss and all. Sometimes, maybe many times, I wanted to write to you but I had to not write because I feared what would I write, too passionate, too wild love. I know you are beautiful and popular all life and had many boyfriends before, but I am almost virgin in so much, because never I was with the woman of my dreams and true way of love and passion. I never could even understand myself until this time in life and really not until to meet you, my princess, or if I may say, my wife. You taught me first time really what is my love and what is my love's passion. But I'm so scared to write too much and you will be so shock or not like, then too late, so sometimes I just have to not write anything, my passion too strong and control me. I told you, I feel more guided by love than guided by myself, and that makes me know true love, but sometimes it means I can't control, and my body passion is so overwhelming those times, just hours in bed my body is just rock hard and wanting to share love together so much!!!! So, I just want to say once, on the eve of five weeks to fly to you, that I dream of my first kiss to your so pretty body. I want you to give me everything, from head to toe, and open beautifully your soft legs for me so kiss all your princess place and every beauty you give only to husband, love of your husband. oh my gosh, my gosh, I breathe so hard now.
I want you to do something for me really tonight. Promise me, please really promise. When finish all tonight, when go to your sweet bed, our bed, I want you please touch a little, only a little, between soft legs, ok? You close eyes, please touch a little for me, promise me, both places, touch sweet princess hole for me too, shhhhh, secret, very, very secret, but touch all and close eyes and imagine my kiss. I want you do for me. I don't want you to tell me later. This is secret. Just I trust you, do for me tonight, just little, or more if feel so love me, do until you feel happy and imagine all with me. You promise too don't feel bad to me to say like this way. I only say this if I feel to be your husband. When you do this for me, close your eyes, imagine that you are my beautiful, nude princess, the only thing you wear is the diamond ring on your princess hand, and every place you touch between your beautiful princess legs is every place my lips touch, everywhere, and deep, and imagine me all, that every act of love is a celebration of husband & wife.
Okay, I did it. I will not erase it. This is what happens when go to sleep 6:45am. Please do this for me, imagine my kiss from your lips down to your princess toes that make me feel so breathless. My gosh, I never, ever felt I wish to worship a woman, so I just hope you will love this too. My dream is I am the first man ever to kiss your princess pretty toes. Gosh, I can't breath, I need just sleep..........And the last kiss of every night, the kiss that is every night, our lips meet, we kiss in love, our embrace, as we pray to God & Lord Buddha and repeat our vow of love & marriage every night. "I love you, my wife, I am so happy & honored to serve you, your husband." Say it every night.
I am so serious about all of this. I hope you are happy. Doubts may come and worries and fears, but we ride the storm of life, and you will find me there and strong in the end. Be good and go to sleep now. Please just a few moments do as I asked you to promise. I wish every night now you will do for me, and think of me so deeply, feel me in your heart and soul and on your body of beauty. I love you. I sleep now. Tomorrow your morning, see me if you wish. I love you. Sacred love or no love, I want nothing else from you, all your love or nothing. You choose best for us. Kiss & Love, from your Light of Lights, Milton