Some ideas for the first paragraph (You've posted this text in the Persian section, why?): Parents are the first ones with whom a child faces, but what if parents are considered the best teachers of their children in their lives? (In very formal English, the preposition comes at the beginning of the adjective clause as in ‘with whom a child faces’. Only ‘whom’ or ‘which’ may be used in this form. Usually a comma immediately precedes the conjunction such as ‘but’. Omitting the comma in front of ‘but’ is rare). In this essay, I’m going to explain this subject (or discuss about this subject) (Note that ‘be going to’ is used to express a prior plan, just like the subject you want to explain. Therefore, it is better than ‘will’ in this context). It could be argued that parents are the real teachers for their children. (Using a passive voice to start discussing ideas is possibly better than to say ‘some people’). Those who suppose this theory believe that parents are (by far) the best (or the most ideal) for this purpose. They think that (almost) everything, from starting to talk/speak to managing a life, is thought be parents (Don’t mistake ‘teach’ with ‘thought’, active vs. passive). They can transfer customs (not custom) and traditions to their children. What’s more, they believe that the most appropriate school for their children is home (just playing with words, otherwise ‘best’ is OK) (In written English, don’t start a sentence with ‘also’, and if you did, put a comma after that).