I knew
was I'd failed him in some mysterious way and wasn't able to give the help he needed but
couldn't speak of! He was in the quicksands and clutching at me--but I wasn't holding him out, I
was slipping in with him! I didn't know that. I didn't know anything except I loved him
unendurably but without being able to help him or help myself. Then I found out. In the worst of
all possible ways. By coming suddenly into a room that I thought was empty--which wasn't
empty, but had two people in it... the boy I had married and an older man who had been his
friend for years....