Oh, the anguish and struggle I can put myself through, spiraling, spiraling ever downward. Wondering, waiting, wringing my hands and searching for meaning in it all. Why do I create such chaos from circumstance? Why do I wallow when it's the wallowing that hurts? I stand on the shore, blocked by a barricade of rocks, staring out at the freedom that could be mine--simply by trusting. Such a stubborn heart I have... it has not helped me yet. Why lean on it now