I am a single host dad by tragedy. My wife passed away from breast cancer almost two years ago. It is because of this that I have an Au Pair. I have 4 young children and specifically requested an Au Pair that is 21 yrs or older due to maturity. I have to say my Au Pair experience has been very positive. One of the challenges was that I was not sure if I wanted her to take on a “motherly” role. I just kind of let things evolve. She has not turned into a “mother” figure nor is she trying to be. This is fine with me. She is very good about letting me have the time and place to be the Parent.
I pretty much give her free rein of doing what needs done with the children becuase I trust her judgement. As far as feeling any type of “romantic” feelings this is non-existant. She is attractive but half my age. I just don’t feel any of those feelings nor would I wnat to introduce complication into the situation. I view her as a family member and Au Pair/business relationship. I think that’s what you have to do from day one. She is given the choice to participate in any activities or outings we have. She does not always choose to go. I have begun dating a woman my age and my Au Pair has been very benefical/helpful. She is there so I can go on dates.
I think an opportunity for the Au Pair is to mature more since they ulmitately have more responsibility. There are not two parents to take some of the load off. An Au Pair of a single parent is able to make decisions on her own and not feel she is stepping on one of the parents toes.
An opportuniy for me is to be able to go out at night and have some free time away from the kids knowing they are with someone they are comfortable with.