Difficult Conversations and DefensivenessDifficult or tense conversations are an uncomfortable fact of life at work. Perhaps you've had to deal with a difficult customer , or needed to talk to someone about his or her poor performance . Or maybe you've negotiated a major contract.Ideally, these situations would be resolved calmly. But, often they are complicated by feelings of nervousness, stress, defensiveness , or even anger . And, though we may try to hide them, these emotions often show through in our body language.