Next time you should write a brief of cover letter to the email recipient as it is a good way to communicate professionally.
I have a glance at your essay, still found that there are things you may have to work on.
Firstly, you haven't sought for details on this programme, which you should write your reasons relevant to that ( I attached the file for you, so, have a look!).
Secondly, please note that you will have to pay for the return flight between Thailand and China, are you opk with this condition?
I have tried writing how your essay should start below,,,and then, it is your job to develop it, and send it to me again, ok??
Please read the leaflet about this programe carefully, and try to write things relevant to the goal.
: I wish to attend a global leadership camp in China because of three main reasons: to explore what global leader can do based on their roles to support sustainable development; to learn to work and exchange idea with people from different culture and backgrounds in terms of how we can engage our community in a changing world; and, lastly, I would like to visit China again to learn to know the culture more.