Common to pigs
Swine flu is common among pig populations all over the world. People with regular exposure to pigs are more likely to catch its virus and transmit it to others. While symptoms of the old virus strain develop about one to three days after exposure, symptoms of the new more powerful P1Noy3 strain become evident on the very second one enters Malacañang or gets in contact with high Malacañang officials, members of the Legislative and the Cabinet, and officers of bogus non-government organizations.
The symptoms of P1Noy 3 virus strain differ from previous ones elsewhere. Its most unmistakable symptom is the insatiable desire for pork and the inexplicable readiness to give oodles of it to those who are also addicted to the same. It also manifests itself in its carrier’s total deafness to the voice of his supposed bosses, the people. It’s no wonder that when BS Aquino defended his pork, the people shouted anew: “What part of ‘No to pork barrel’ didn’t you understand?”
Another symptom of the P1Noy3 strain is the blurring of eyesight. Its carrier invariably believes that he’s treading the straight path even while walking on a crooked road. This can’t be cured by wearing thick eyeglasses, said scientists who also warned that it would be exacerbated by addiction to video games.