Relationships
Building Relationships
These qualities of strong relationships, you need to show all these qualities in order to build a strong and lasting relationship. You can demonstrate those qualities in various ways.
Qualities of Strong Relationships
Understanding
You are more likely to understand another person’s point of view if you try to see things through his or her eyes. Don’t get so caught up in your own views that you forget that there is another perspective.
Acceptance
Accept other people as they are. You are more likely to accept people’s differences if you learn more about them.
Willingness to Compromise
When you disagree, be prepared to compromise by working together to reach an agreement that satisfies each of you. Both people must be willing to give a little.
Willingness to Communicate
Communication skills enable you to share your thoughts, ideas, and feelings with others. Communicating also helps prevent misunderstandings and disagreements.
Patience
Nobody is perfect. Being patient with another person’s habits and faults shows that you care and helps prevent conflict.
Trust and Honesty
Be honest with other people by telling the truth and behaving in a trustworthy manner. Honesty is the best way to gain another person’s trust.
Respect
Show respect by being polite and considerate. Be prepared to take other people’s ideas and opinions seriously – even when they differ from your own.
A Sense of Humor
You need to be able to see the funny side of things and to be ready to
2
laugh at yourself. Laughter can lighten an embarrassing or tense situation.
Giving and Receiving
Ben liked to tell this story about his good friend Isaac: “It was Saturday morning after a big storm. Tree branches were all over the yard, which meant I had a full morning of work ahead of me. Then Isaac showed up. He said that since I had offered to drive us to the football game that afternoon, he wanted to save me the trouble of picking him up. He was three hours early, however, and he ‘just happened’ to have a rake and heavy work gloves with him.”
Isaac showed that he understood a basic principle of strong relationships: both sides give as well as receive. When one person does all the giving and the other all the taking, the relationship is unlikely to last. This principle applies to more than just friendships. For example, by asking a busy parent how work went and listening to the response, a teen gives support in return for those times that the parent helped the teen.
In strong relationships, giving and getting are united. Giving boosts self-esteem. You feel worthy as a person when you have something to offer. When you receive, you give thanks and show appreciation. The cycle of giving and receiving is ongoing.
One way to help keep relationships strong is to remember to give a word of thanks from time to time to someone who helps you. People can feel hurt or feel that their help is being taken for granted if it isn’t acknowledged. For example, Amrit was growing frustrated because his friend Curtis kept calling for help with his homework. When Curtis called one night, Amrit even thought about telling his brother to say that he wasn’t home. He was glad he didn’t. Curtis had called to say how well he had done on his test and to thank Amrit for his help. Saying those two simple words – “Thank you” – can carry a relationship over rough times.
Becoming a Team Player
Good team players are in demand. Any group is a team, whether it is playing soccer or planning a school celebration. For any team to succeed, each member has to show teamwork – working together to reach a common goal. Teamwork is valued in the world of work. Employers look for those who understand the need to work well with others and can do so.
3
Being part of the team requires cooperation – the willingness and ability to work with others. That cooperation can be shown in many different ways:
. Stick to the group’s goals, and put your energy into achieving them. Don’t try to outshine others.
. Listen to others in the group; they may have valuable ideas to contribute.
. Give everyone a role so that each is part of the team effort.
. Do your fair share. If you don’t, someone else has to make up the difference. That leads to negative feelings toward you.
. Complete your job on time. Otherwise, the group’s goal may not be reached.
Showing Tolerance
One key to getting along with others is tolerance. Tolerance means accepting and respecting other people’s customs and beliefs. It helps you recognize that other people have the right to hold beliefs and values that are different from your own. It helps you see that your beliefs and values are not better than theirs, just different.
Tolerance is basic to getting along with all other people- family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. It helps you listen to other points of view, see things through other people’s eyes, and enjoy many different kinds of relationships.
As societies grow more diverse, tolerance becomes more important. It is needed to meet the challenge of coexisting peacefully and productively with many different kinds of people. People who lack tolerance may develop prejudice, bias against an individual or group. Feelings of prejudice, in turn, can lead to acts of discrimination, or differences in treatment that are based on prejudice rather than on individual merit. Examples of discrimination include refusing in rent housing to someone because of skin color, or refusing to hire someone because of age. Discrimination on the basis of age, gender, ethnic background, and other factors is destructive to individuals and to society. It divides people rather than promoting positive relationships.
Like stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination grow out of ignorance. People who have little exposure to other ways of life are more likely to see differences in a negative light. You can help combat prejudice by making an effort to increase your knowledge and understanding of all people.
4
Walking Away
Showing tolerance does not mean that you must- or should- associate with everyone. From time to time, you may decide that you are better off without certain relationships. People who cause harm to you or others or who perform actions that are illegal should be avoided. Use your values as your guide in deciding what to do.
Even though it may be difficult to break away, that is the best approach. If possible, leave the lines of communication open. You can let other people know that, while you do not agree with their actions or ideas, you still value them as people.
Relationships
Building Relationships
These qualities of strong relationships, you need to show all these qualities in order to build a strong and lasting relationship. You can demonstrate those qualities in various ways.
Qualities of Strong Relationships
Understanding
You are more likely to understand another person’s point of view if you try to see things through his or her eyes. Don’t get so caught up in your own views that you forget that there is another perspective.
Acceptance
Accept other people as they are. You are more likely to accept people’s differences if you learn more about them.
Willingness to Compromise
When you disagree, be prepared to compromise by working together to reach an agreement that satisfies each of you. Both people must be willing to give a little.
Willingness to Communicate
Communication skills enable you to share your thoughts, ideas, and feelings with others. Communicating also helps prevent misunderstandings and disagreements.
Patience
Nobody is perfect. Being patient with another person’s habits and faults shows that you care and helps prevent conflict.
Trust and Honesty
Be honest with other people by telling the truth and behaving in a trustworthy manner. Honesty is the best way to gain another person’s trust.
Respect
Show respect by being polite and considerate. Be prepared to take other people’s ideas and opinions seriously – even when they differ from your own.
A Sense of Humor
You need to be able to see the funny side of things and to be ready to
2
laugh at yourself. Laughter can lighten an embarrassing or tense situation.
Giving and Receiving
Ben liked to tell this story about his good friend Isaac: “It was Saturday morning after a big storm. Tree branches were all over the yard, which meant I had a full morning of work ahead of me. Then Isaac showed up. He said that since I had offered to drive us to the football game that afternoon, he wanted to save me the trouble of picking him up. He was three hours early, however, and he ‘just happened’ to have a rake and heavy work gloves with him.”
Isaac showed that he understood a basic principle of strong relationships: both sides give as well as receive. When one person does all the giving and the other all the taking, the relationship is unlikely to last. This principle applies to more than just friendships. For example, by asking a busy parent how work went and listening to the response, a teen gives support in return for those times that the parent helped the teen.
In strong relationships, giving and getting are united. Giving boosts self-esteem. You feel worthy as a person when you have something to offer. When you receive, you give thanks and show appreciation. The cycle of giving and receiving is ongoing.
One way to help keep relationships strong is to remember to give a word of thanks from time to time to someone who helps you. People can feel hurt or feel that their help is being taken for granted if it isn’t acknowledged. For example, Amrit was growing frustrated because his friend Curtis kept calling for help with his homework. When Curtis called one night, Amrit even thought about telling his brother to say that he wasn’t home. He was glad he didn’t. Curtis had called to say how well he had done on his test and to thank Amrit for his help. Saying those two simple words – “Thank you” – can carry a relationship over rough times.
Becoming a Team Player
Good team players are in demand. Any group is a team, whether it is playing soccer or planning a school celebration. For any team to succeed, each member has to show teamwork – working together to reach a common goal. Teamwork is valued in the world of work. Employers look for those who understand the need to work well with others and can do so.
3
Being part of the team requires cooperation – the willingness and ability to work with others. That cooperation can be shown in many different ways:
. Stick to the group’s goals, and put your energy into achieving them. Don’t try to outshine others.
. Listen to others in the group; they may have valuable ideas to contribute.
. Give everyone a role so that each is part of the team effort.
. Do your fair share. If you don’t, someone else has to make up the difference. That leads to negative feelings toward you.
. Complete your job on time. Otherwise, the group’s goal may not be reached.
Showing Tolerance
One key to getting along with others is tolerance. Tolerance means accepting and respecting other people’s customs and beliefs. It helps you recognize that other people have the right to hold beliefs and values that are different from your own. It helps you see that your beliefs and values are not better than theirs, just different.
Tolerance is basic to getting along with all other people- family, friends, acquaintances and strangers. It helps you listen to other points of view, see things through other people’s eyes, and enjoy many different kinds of relationships.
As societies grow more diverse, tolerance becomes more important. It is needed to meet the challenge of coexisting peacefully and productively with many different kinds of people. People who lack tolerance may develop prejudice, bias against an individual or group. Feelings of prejudice, in turn, can lead to acts of discrimination, or differences in treatment that are based on prejudice rather than on individual merit. Examples of discrimination include refusing in rent housing to someone because of skin color, or refusing to hire someone because of age. Discrimination on the basis of age, gender, ethnic background, and other factors is destructive to individuals and to society. It divides people rather than promoting positive relationships.
Like stereotypes, prejudice and discrimination grow out of ignorance. People who have little exposure to other ways of life are more likely to see differences in a negative light. You can help combat prejudice by making an effort to increase your knowledge and understanding of all people.
4
Walking Away
Showing tolerance does not mean that you must- or should- associate with everyone. From time to time, you may decide that you are better off without certain relationships. People who cause harm to you or others or who perform actions that are illegal should be avoided. Use your values as your guide in deciding what to do.
Even though it may be difficult to break away, that is the best approach. If possible, leave the lines of communication open. You can let other people know that, while you do not agree with their actions or ideas, you still value them as people.
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