He forced a smile, trying to push the voice to the back of his mind. Jim hoped this would be enough to convince them that it was nothing, but while most of the bridge returned to work a few continued to watch him with curiosity. The last thing he wanted was to lose his command because anyone though he was emotionally unstable. What no one seemed to understand was that there was no life for him on Earth. His mother had died a year earlier, leaving him no place to go even if he wanted to. Jim had no wife, girlfriend, boyfriend…His family was all gathered in this room and he would never leave them.
“Sorry Chekov. What were you saying?” He asked trying to make it light and unconcerned. But, Jim did not see the knowing looks Uhura and Spock were exchanging.
The young Russians voice faltered slightly as he spoke. “Nothing, Keptin. I just wanted to tell you that we have set course for Ares X-66 and if my calculations are correct….we should be arriving in about two days Sir.” Pavel turned quickly back to the controls, long pale fingers tapping away. “Great. Keep up the good work gentlemen,” Jim said quickly, before rising and heading towards the elevator. He could feel their eyes boring into his back as he retreated.
He let out a long breath as he heard the doors close behind him, thankful that none of them had attempted to follow him. He didn’t think he could bare to face them like this. Weak, came the voice.
Jim walked through the sterile hallways of his ship and did not stop until he finally reached the door to his cabin. The room was large compared to many of the other living quarters on the ship. It was furnished with nothing but a large white bed and a single chair, which sat facing the large window. The bed had not been slept in for days and the small alcove beside it was covered in empty coffee cups.