GOLDEN RULES FOR TEETOTALLERS
- Refuse a drink politely; give an explanation if you think that helps.
- Never act the martyr, miserably cradling your mineral water as the party takes off around you.
- Never proselytise your fellow guests about the benefits of an alcohol-free existence.
- If you are unable to cope with alcohol-induced anarchy - meandering conversations, meaningless arguments, general hilarity- don't go to the party.
- If you can endure these antics without a censorious air, remember that you will be worth your weight in gold - the one sober guest at the end of the evening who is able to sort out the increasingly unruly guests, and even drive them safely home.