The next time your child has an episode, Potegal recommends asking yourself “What function does this inappropriate behavior serve?” If your tyke is looking for attention or a “tangible” (toy, food or other treat), the best response is to ignore the behavior and maintain your own emotional composure. My friend Mana Heydarpour of New York City learned this lesson the hard way: When she told her strong-willed 3-year-old, Ella, that she couldn't watch her favorite TV show, she screamed, “I don't like you! I'm so disappointed with you!” “It made my blood boil so much that I couldn't help yelling back at her,” Heydarpour says. As a result, Ella's fit lasted for half an hour. Potegal calls this the Anger Trap. “If you get just as mad and irrational as your child, it's like throwing gas on a fire,” he says.