I thought getting my dream job would bring me nirvana, but before long, I was more anxious than ever. I thought I would love the fast pace of production and interacting with writers. But when it became my responsibility to police the show’s schedule, I dreaded their last-minute rewrites. I used to get joy from reading through a script, but now I could only focus on the technical difficulty of producing it.
What’s more: I was exhausted. I started to question my entire life plan. TV devotees, please forgive me—suddenly television seemed like nonsense. The joy I got from watching it was nowhere to be found in producing it. Everything I worked so hard for now seemed silly. Was this really going to be my contribution to the world? I was at the job for nine months before I decided to leave. It wasn’t easy—I went into work about ten times planning to quit before I actually mustered up the confidence.
After abandoning “the dream,” I fell into the same old trap. I applied to a bunch of jobs that sounded impressive. My friends would think working in advertising was cool! My dad would be happy if I wrote tweets for a reputable company! But I still had no idea what I actually enjoyed doing on a day-to-day basis.