Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tim, and as is traditional on these occasions, I’m here to welcome you all to this very special day, point out the fire exits and for those of you who don’t already know Jim, give you a little bit of a background on why Sue would put up with him the way she does.
Firstly, on behalf of the Bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Jim for his kind
words. I think everybody will agree that the bridesmaids look absolutely
gorgeous and Sue, can I just say you look stunning.
Whereas Jim just looks stunned.
When Jim asked me to be his best man today, part of me was honoured, part of me was terrified, but mostly I was laughing inwardly that he’s finally admitting what we’ve known all along, that I am, in fact, better than him.
Having never been a best man before, I had to spend several hours surfing the interweb to try and find out exactly what my duties would be. I also came across several pictures of Britney Spears, but that’s by-the-by.
So apparently the most important thing I had to do was make sure Jim got to the church on time, looking presentable, clean-cut and sober. Given how nervous he was this morning, the ‘sober’ part was a minor miracle, and as for the rest, well, I got him there on time…
Some of you, incidentally, may have been surprised by how calm and collected Jim has seemed today – he seemed to have avoided the wedding day jitters and kept insisting ‘I’m fine, really’ all day.
However, that’s probably because none of you saw him at 10 o’clock this morning when he was lying facedown on his bed in his hotel room, in shorts and a t-shirt, with his mum rubbing his back and trying to get him to eat just a few more cornflakes.
(Sorry, mate, you know I had to mention it.)
Anyway, where was I?
James was born on 30th July, 1974; 8 years to the day after England won the World Cup, and shares a birthday with such notables as Emily Bronte, Henry Ford and Arnold Schwarzenegger. None of these, however, have had any noticeable effects on either his literacy, physical stature or football skills.
I’ve known Jim for approaching 20 years now, since he used to have hair, in fact, and when I first encountered him at school, was reliably informed that he was the ‘cocky northern one’. As those of you who know him can tell, he hasn’t changed much. His hairline has, but not him. Over the years, he’s proven to be the best friend a man could have. From walking our dogs together, going to a pub for the first time with him, carrying him home when he’s become a little too... ahem... emotional.
While drunkenly singing various Motown hits, he’s been a true friend, like a brother to me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him, and likewise, nothing he wouldn’t do for me. In fact we spend our whole lives doing nothing for each other. By the way, I should just say that if he challenges anyone to an arm-wrestle later on, use your left arm. And if he grins and asks you to pull his finger, I’d advise you to leave quickly and quietly by the nearest available exit.
When Jim first met Sue, I knew there was something special happening Having been a bit of a jack the lad before then, he was absurdly proud of never having bought a drink for a woman, so when he bought her a rose and a drink on valentines day 10 years ago today, we could tell something was in the wind.
They’ve now been together for a long time, and I can’t think of a single couple more perfect for each other. She brings out the good side in him, which takes a lot of effort; in fact I’d say she’s made him a better person since they’ve been together. Sue, I’d like to thank you on behalf of humanity for that.
So to wrap this up, I’d just like to say that marriage is not about finding someone you can live with, it’s about finding someone you can’t live without.
So if everyone would like to join me in a toast to the new Mr and Mrs Deane, Jim and Sue.
May your love be modern enough to survive the times, and old fashioned enough to last for ever.
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Bride and Groom.
Example Speeches - Best Man Speech #3
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids I would like to thank Marty, for his kind words and I must say, to our lovely bride, Ruby, a more Luminescent Bride, I have not seen.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sean, one of Marty’s closest friends for over 15 years, sometime confidant, usually a partner in crime, and today (with pride), Marty’s Best Man.
My official duties I have covered, those including, making sure the groom arrived, On-Time (difficult), Sober (relatively), and Smart (well, two out of three ain’t bad).
And now, I have the opportunity (and audience) to speak just a bit, about our infamous groom…
Back in the year 1972, the VW Bug, became the most popular car in America… That same year, Martin Benjiman Reinhart was born, a coincidence? Hmmm…
15 years later, in a land far far away (Irvine), I met an intelligent, and very hyper young lad, named Marty, being similar myself, we hit off well together and (to our parents horror) rapidly became the best of friends forever more.
Now traditionally, I get to insert numerous very embarrassing stories about Marty here, unfortunately, my courier got tired trying to carry the two boxes of typed pages I had, and called it quits halfway here, so I will have to make do from my short notes.
Now I have had the dubious good fortune of being present for numerous firsts in young Martin’s life. From his first big make out session (who said being in the closet is bad?), to our infamous ear piercing adventure (I had no idea how much Marty could drink, or how tough an ear could be.) Some of the adventures we’ve had people don’t believe, a summer of flinging water balloons in Hollywood, getting into a little traffic incident, and ending up with a complete Chips lecture, from Eric Estrada himself… Some people just don’t buy the tale…
Adventure is the word I would choose to describe Marty’s life, a non-stop roller coaster ride of thrills, chills, and spills (and the judicious use of antilock brakes). Many is the night, we’ve been out to drinking and dancing, and there’s Marty, middle of the dance floor, living it up (and charming the ladies with his wicked dance moves).
Charm, charisma, personality, Marty pours these things out by the bucketful… And with a touch of good fortune (and a little luck) he managed to spill a little of that Ruby’s way. In a nightclub, not far from here, they met for the first time… (Fill-in)
Before I finish I'd like to ask Marty and Ruby to participate in this little speech now. Ruby if I can ask you to place your hand flat on the table, yes, palm down dear... Right, Marty, if you would please place your hand directly on top of Ruby’s, yes, just like that. There we go, now Marty, I want you to make the most of this moment, it's the last time you'll have the upper hand…
In seriousness though, Ruby and Marty have begun a truly wonderful life together, today’s ceremonies, sealing together two spirits that have already begun traveling the path of two becoming one. I offer my own blessings, two you both, my friends, for a continued happy journey down that path, in a long, prosperous, and happy life together.
Family and friends, I ask you now to raise your glasses in a toast, to Marty and Ruby Reinhart.