In working with parents from all over, we have observed one thing that stretches them to the breaking
point more than any other: outright defiance. Parents are generally open and willing to consider many of
the principles and approaches explained in The Connected Child, and many parents are eager to embrace
the holistic approach that we advocate as they focus on making connections and building trust. They
are willing to focus on nurture, look for opportunities to playfully engage their child and consider their
child’s history and complex needs when assessing and dealing with behaviors. But in the face of open
defiance—what parents clearly see as willful disobedience and outright disrespect—their blood begins to
boil and their “law and order” instincts kick in.