ntroduction
The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain
relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn,
work, love and procreate. Human relationships take many forms but the most intense, most
pleasurable and most painful are those relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with "emotional
glue" - bonded with love.
Each individual's ability to form and maintain relationships using this "emotional glue" is
different. Some people seem "naturally" capable of loving. They form numerous intimate
and caring relationships and, in doing so, get pleasure. Others are not so lucky. They feel
no "pull" to form intimate relationships, find little pleasure in being with or close to others.
They have few, if any friends and more distant, less emotional glue with family. In extreme
cases an individual may have no intact emotional bond to any other person. They are self-
absorbed, aloof or may even present with classic neuropsychiatric signs of being schizoid or
autistic.
The capacity and desire to form emotional relationships is related to the organization and
functioning of specific parts of the human brain. Just as the brain allows us to see, smell,
taste, think, talk and move, it is the organ that allows us to love -- or not. The systems in
the human brain that allow us to form and maintain emotional relationships develop during
infancy and the first years of life. Experiences during this early vulnerable period of life are
critical to shaping the capacity to form intimate and emotionally healthy relationships.