case, that the unpacking activities are separate from the packing and
trucking activities. If you decide to use the comma in this way, be certain
to do so consistently throughout your document.
It’s best to use semicolons to separate units when there are commas
within the units. In the following example, notice that the sentence’s
meaning is clearer when it is punctuated with semicolons.
It was decided that team leaders would include Amanda, East Coast,
Sam, West Coast, Gloria, Mid Atlantic, and Cal, South.
It was decided that team leaders would include Amanda, East Coast;
Sam, West Coast; Gloria, Mid Atlantic; and Cal, South.
EXERCISE 20: Revise for Clarity
Revise the following sentences to make the copy less stilted, avoid split
infinitives, and ensure proper punctuation.
1. Mr. Wexler always tries to fully investigate the causes of a
company’s bankruptcy.
2. Julia without her Tom is nothing.
3. Kyu-Ja said Linda What time is the train expected to arrive?
4. It has come to our attention that Marybeth from Dallas Charlie
from Portland Dee from Chicago and Brian from Phoenix all
need to meet with the advertising team.
5. Each of the supervisors is qualified to lead his team.
How did you do? There are some tricky issues in these five sentences.
Without knowing the writer’s intention, you’ll have a tough time revising
copy. Remember to start your revision with a clear understanding of
the writer’s meaning.
1. Mr. Wexler always tries to fully investigate the causes of a
company’s bankruptcy.
The split infinitive is awkward. It is better to write the sentence as: