How to die well
2. Recognize and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
We must also recognize psycho-social pain, the residue of life’s unresolved conflicts with other people. There are almost always interpersonal issues within families, and sometimes between close friends, when one is dying—people who’ve become estranged, “I love you’d that were never expressed, and more. Ira Byock, a palliative care doctor, wrote in his book, The Four Things That Matter Most, that there are four basic messages a person needs to communicate at the end of life:
I love you.
Thank you.
I forgive you.
Please forgive me.
These, I think, are a good start. A good death creates a space for people to say those words.