Alyce J., administrator: “Recently, I was in a meeting of trustees where one of the individuals was
presenting a new idea that was critical to her and to the life of this group. When she was finished, no
one heard her opinion, no one really heard her. It was a powerfully demoralizing moment for her. I
could see it in her face, and she wasn’t herself for a day or two afterward. I finally raised the issue with
her and used words that helped describe how she was feeling. I said, ‘Something’s wrong,’ and she
started to talk. I said, ‘I really understand. I know how important this was for you, and you don’t seem
like yourself,’ and so on. And she finally gave words to what was going on inside her. She said,
‘You’re the only one who heard me and who has said one word to me about it.’”
Alyce J., administrator: “Recently, I was in a meeting of trustees where one of the individuals waspresenting a new idea that was critical to her and to the life of this group. When she was finished, noone heard her opinion, no one really heard her. It was a powerfully demoralizing moment for her. Icould see it in her face, and she wasn’t herself for a day or two afterward. I finally raised the issue withher and used words that helped describe how she was feeling. I said, ‘Something’s wrong,’ and shestarted to talk. I said, ‘I really understand. I know how important this was for you, and you don’t seemlike yourself,’ and so on. And she finally gave words to what was going on inside her. She said,‘You’re the only one who heard me and who has said one word to me about it.’”
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