1. When I was 18, I put on 30 lbs in 7 months and decided to join a gym. And then one day I fell off of a treadmill. Twice. In 5 minutes.
2. Six weeks after my daughter was born, I decided to get a Brazilian wax. And then I talked all about it to my male OBGYN the next day.
3. My dad got me a part in a Chinese soap opera when I was 13. As a hooker.
4. We took my in-laws to Las Vegas in December, and as an early Christmas present, I showed them what I look like in my birthday suit.
5. On one of my first dates with my husband, I almost choked to death.
6. I once drank too many Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers and fell into a pond. And took some lawn furniture in with me.
7. I laughed out loud at my cousin’s funeral.
8. I worked as a waitress in a sleezy diner one summer, and accidentally showed up half-naked one day.
9. I almost collapsed during a work presentation in front of 50 Armani-wearing senior leaders.
10. I once had to go to the doctor because I lost my tampon.
Yup.
I’m one awkward woman.