Upon leaving the comfort of my hotel room, I felt the searing heat burning my shoulders. Fortunately I remembered to slip my umbrella into my backpack. Unfortunately both back pack and umbrella were stolen a few seconds later by an Amish bag snatcher who leaned across from his horse drawn buggy as he drove past, and said "Thou art now served with a twisting motion." before whipping his horse up into a getaway gallop.
Fortunately this was just my decoy backpack which was set to explode in ten minutes. Unfortunately the Amish man put the bag on his wagon with his animals by his side and the whole thing was blown to smithereens, the last thing I heard was his voice ' oh- my - God it's raining cats and dogs' I still had the umbrella.