The Helping Tango
Not every helping encounter we observed or heard about at IDEO was a resounding success. In fact, some were disasters—the “help” actually confused matters or left one or the other party with bad feelings. Looking more closely at these incidents, we came to see that success in collaborative help requires that both sides skillfully dance their parts in a helping tango.
Because it’s the specific interaction between a help giver and a help receiver that either works or doesn’t, the same person can be helpful in some instances and a hindrance in others. Consider this example involving an employee we’ll call Kathy. Another employee, Ellen, had asked her, as a helper assigned to Ellen’s team, for assistance in turning some raw data into a coherent visual display. Kathy did this and more, devoting three hours of her weekend to what Ellen later rated as an “extremely helpful” event. A week later, however, Kathy dropped in unexpectedly on Bert, another member of Ellen’s team, thinking she could help him flesh out some ideas. A combination of poor timing and lack of preparation made this episode quite a different story. Bert, who had been building a prototype when Kathy arrived, had to stop what he was doing, reorient his attention, and spend a lot of time catching Kathy up. Not surprisingly, he viewed the check-in as a disruption that not only yielded no progress but actually set him back.
For a particular helping episode to succeed, the receiver and the giver of help must have a good awareness of each other’s bandwidth and receptivity.
If you’re looking for help, you need to consider who the experts are, who’s available, and to whom you feel comfortable exposing your in-process work, warts and all. Make sure, too, that you prepare the helper by giving relevant background information or keeping him or her in the loop throughout the project. You might do this by showing prototypes or sketches, sharing a slide deck, or simply talking about the project and the issue at hand. Whatever form it takes, this information sharing must accomplish two things: It must bring the helper up to speed on relevant aspects of the project, and it must clarify the kind of help you’re seeking. These actions can do much to avoid help that’s ill-timed, such as a pile of new ideas for your basic design when the final deliverable is one week away, or at the wrong level, such as edits to your presentation when you really wanted a reaction to the basic idea.
Finally, after you’ve received the help, acknowledge it and express your appreciation. It’s demoralizing for helpers to get no feedback on whether their ideas and suggestions made a difference.
As a help giver, you must also do your part well. Before you start solving problems or offering suggestions, determine the needs and expectations of help seekers by asking questions and really listening. Prepare by carefully examining the background information they gave you, and if they didn’t give you anything, ask. If you’re going to be helping throughout a project, occasionally reach out for updates. You need to understand the current state of the project so that you can match the type and level of help you give to that phase. Blue-sky concepts that open up diverse possibilities can be great at the start of a project, but as the final deadline is bearing down, that sort of input usually provokes anxiety and confusion. Tactical, hands-on help can be more useful then. And don’t hack the project, taking over the work to such an extent that you wipe out the help seekers’ sense of autonomy and ownership of the project. Show respect, in both speech and behavior, for the people you’re helping, even when you’re delivering negative feedback. Stay constructive.
In one particularly damaging attempt at help, a senior designer physically took the computer from a less experienced project leader and changed so much of the final presentation that she was left feeling completely deflated. Although the client liked the final presentation, the project leader viewed this event as undermining both her work on the project and her role in the organization.
In another case, a different project leader was described by her teammates as having done a stellar job of preparing helpers for an especially fruitful design review. Not only did she send advance information on the team’s progress to that point, but she presented it in a way that made the session clear, compelling, and fun for the helpers.
In a well-danced tango, one partner gives cues that allow the other to synchronize beautifully. Whether the helping interaction is a 15-minute discussion or a weeks-long series of exchanges, the two parties must create a shared understanding of what help is needed and how it will be given. It’s a matter of setting mutual expectations up front and remaining sensitive to each other’s reactions during the process.
The Helping Tango
Not every helping encounter we observed or heard about at IDEO was a resounding success. In fact, some were disasters—the “help” actually confused matters or left one or the other party with bad feelings. Looking more closely at these incidents, we came to see that success in collaborative help requires that both sides skillfully dance their parts in a helping tango.
Because it’s the specific interaction between a help giver and a help receiver that either works or doesn’t, the same person can be helpful in some instances and a hindrance in others. Consider this example involving an employee we’ll call Kathy. Another employee, Ellen, had asked her, as a helper assigned to Ellen’s team, for assistance in turning some raw data into a coherent visual display. Kathy did this and more, devoting three hours of her weekend to what Ellen later rated as an “extremely helpful” event. A week later, however, Kathy dropped in unexpectedly on Bert, another member of Ellen’s team, thinking she could help him flesh out some ideas. A combination of poor timing and lack of preparation made this episode quite a different story. Bert, who had been building a prototype when Kathy arrived, had to stop what he was doing, reorient his attention, and spend a lot of time catching Kathy up. Not surprisingly, he viewed the check-in as a disruption that not only yielded no progress but actually set him back.
For a particular helping episode to succeed, the receiver and the giver of help must have a good awareness of each other’s bandwidth and receptivity.
If you’re looking for help, you need to consider who the experts are, who’s available, and to whom you feel comfortable exposing your in-process work, warts and all. Make sure, too, that you prepare the helper by giving relevant background information or keeping him or her in the loop throughout the project. You might do this by showing prototypes or sketches, sharing a slide deck, or simply talking about the project and the issue at hand. Whatever form it takes, this information sharing must accomplish two things: It must bring the helper up to speed on relevant aspects of the project, and it must clarify the kind of help you’re seeking. These actions can do much to avoid help that’s ill-timed, such as a pile of new ideas for your basic design when the final deliverable is one week away, or at the wrong level, such as edits to your presentation when you really wanted a reaction to the basic idea.
Finally, after you’ve received the help, acknowledge it and express your appreciation. It’s demoralizing for helpers to get no feedback on whether their ideas and suggestions made a difference.
As a help giver, you must also do your part well. Before you start solving problems or offering suggestions, determine the needs and expectations of help seekers by asking questions and really listening. Prepare by carefully examining the background information they gave you, and if they didn’t give you anything, ask. If you’re going to be helping throughout a project, occasionally reach out for updates. You need to understand the current state of the project so that you can match the type and level of help you give to that phase. Blue-sky concepts that open up diverse possibilities can be great at the start of a project, but as the final deadline is bearing down, that sort of input usually provokes anxiety and confusion. Tactical, hands-on help can be more useful then. And don’t hack the project, taking over the work to such an extent that you wipe out the help seekers’ sense of autonomy and ownership of the project. Show respect, in both speech and behavior, for the people you’re helping, even when you’re delivering negative feedback. Stay constructive.
In one particularly damaging attempt at help, a senior designer physically took the computer from a less experienced project leader and changed so much of the final presentation that she was left feeling completely deflated. Although the client liked the final presentation, the project leader viewed this event as undermining both her work on the project and her role in the organization.
In another case, a different project leader was described by her teammates as having done a stellar job of preparing helpers for an especially fruitful design review. Not only did she send advance information on the team’s progress to that point, but she presented it in a way that made the session clear, compelling, and fun for the helpers.
In a well-danced tango, one partner gives cues that allow the other to synchronize beautifully. Whether the helping interaction is a 15-minute discussion or a weeks-long series of exchanges, the two parties must create a shared understanding of what help is needed and how it will be given. It’s a matter of setting mutual expectations up front and remaining sensitive to each other’s reactions during the process.
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The Helping Tango
Not every helping encounter we observed or heard about at IDEO was a resounding success. In fact, some were disasters—the “help” actually confused matters or left one or the other party with bad feelings. Looking more closely at these incidents, we came to see that success in collaborative help requires that both sides skillfully dance their parts in a helping tango.
Because it’s the specific interaction between a help giver and a help receiver that either works or doesn’t, the same person can be helpful in some instances and a hindrance in others. Consider this example involving an employee we’ll call Kathy. Another employee, Ellen, had asked her, as a helper assigned to Ellen’s team, for assistance in turning some raw data into a coherent visual display. Kathy did this and more, devoting three hours of her weekend to what Ellen later rated as an “extremely helpful” event. A week later, however, Kathy dropped in unexpectedly on Bert, another member of Ellen’s team, thinking she could help him flesh out some ideas. A combination of poor timing and lack of preparation made this episode quite a different story. Bert, who had been building a prototype when Kathy arrived, had to stop what he was doing, reorient his attention, and spend a lot of time catching Kathy up. Not surprisingly, he viewed the check-in as a disruption that not only yielded no progress but actually set him back.
For a particular helping episode to succeed, the receiver and the giver of help must have a good awareness of each other’s bandwidth and receptivity.
If you’re looking for help, you need to consider who the experts are, who’s available, and to whom you feel comfortable exposing your in-process work, warts and all. Make sure, too, that you prepare the helper by giving relevant background information or keeping him or her in the loop throughout the project. You might do this by showing prototypes or sketches, sharing a slide deck, or simply talking about the project and the issue at hand. Whatever form it takes, this information sharing must accomplish two things: It must bring the helper up to speed on relevant aspects of the project, and it must clarify the kind of help you’re seeking. These actions can do much to avoid help that’s ill-timed, such as a pile of new ideas for your basic design when the final deliverable is one week away, or at the wrong level, such as edits to your presentation when you really wanted a reaction to the basic idea.
Finally, after you’ve received the help, acknowledge it and express your appreciation. It’s demoralizing for helpers to get no feedback on whether their ideas and suggestions made a difference.
As a help giver, you must also do your part well. Before you start solving problems or offering suggestions, determine the needs and expectations of help seekers by asking questions and really listening. Prepare by carefully examining the background information they gave you, and if they didn’t give you anything, ask. If you’re going to be helping throughout a project, occasionally reach out for updates. You need to understand the current state of the project so that you can match the type and level of help you give to that phase. Blue-sky concepts that open up diverse possibilities can be great at the start of a project, but as the final deadline is bearing down, that sort of input usually provokes anxiety and confusion. Tactical, hands-on help can be more useful then. And don’t hack the project, taking over the work to such an extent that you wipe out the help seekers’ sense of autonomy and ownership of the project. Show respect, in both speech and behavior, for the people you’re helping, even when you’re delivering negative feedback. Stay constructive.
In one particularly damaging attempt at help, a senior designer physically took the computer from a less experienced project leader and changed so much of the final presentation that she was left feeling completely deflated. Although the client liked the final presentation, the project leader viewed this event as undermining both her work on the project and her role in the organization.
In another case, a different project leader was described by her teammates as having done a stellar job of preparing helpers for an especially fruitful design review. Not only did she send advance information on the team’s progress to that point, but she presented it in a way that made the session clear, compelling, and fun for the helpers.
In a well-danced tango, one partner gives cues that allow the other to synchronize beautifully. Whether the helping interaction is a 15-minute discussion or a weeks-long series of exchanges, the two parties must create a shared understanding of what help is needed and how it will be given. It’s a matter of setting mutual expectations up front and remaining sensitive to each other’s reactions during the process.
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