Here’s the nasty little secret—staying in victim mentality gives a person a feeling of power. The poor victim! Look how much she’s suffered! Oh, let me help you! Instead of feeling completely dis-empowered by the bad experience, there’s the hidden benefit of capturing others’ attention. The victim gets stuck in a cycle of negative pleasure. Look at what bad shape I’m in. I need your help. What the victim is saying subconsciously is: This is my way of controlling you and feeling a sense of personal power.