Hi. My name is Satan and I am a homosexual. When I was a child, I was sold into a brothel by my mother in exchange for a broken gameboy (batteries excluded) and a pack of Marlboro. Now in my mid 20s, I console myself by subscribing to Oprah and I believe it must be made part of the public education.
I'm starting something. It is called "Punch a Hipster a Day". Have you punched one today?