We rarely find what we are looking for when we focus solely on changing the external circumstances of our lives. To make any change that is ultimately satisfying, we need to make shifts on the inside that support desired changes on the outside.
For example, after years of moving from one company to another, yet never finding one that totally suited me, I became convinced that I would only be happy when I became self-employed. While many aspects of self-employment were appealing to me, there were a number of challenges as well. Because I didn't clearly see my own ambivalence about being self-employed, I walked right into opportunities for self-sabotage. Being selfemployed turned out to be more challenging than I had expected. Although the "highs" were way up there, the lows were equally far in the other direction. It truly tested my mettle. It forced me to grow in ways I never anticipated.