In rereading his E-mail, you notice that while Les identifies the problem
(i.e., scattered frames make the counter look chaotic) and solves the
problem (i.e., don’t leave frames scattered about), he doesn’t explain the
benefit of doing what he asks (i.e., a lack of scattered frames helps create
a clean look that’s proven to appeal to customers). As you’ll recall
from our earlier discussion about the Matrix of Persuasion, when your
writing task is to persuade, you need to add benefits.
5. Which organizational structure did Les choose?
Les has not written with a clear organizational structure; this lack is
a weakness in the E-mail. The E-mail uses sort of a category organizational
structure; it also uses sort of a PAR organizational structure; but
neither organizational structure is complete. Which organizational structure
do think would be best to use?
Most people would select a PAR organizational structure, although
alternatives could be effectively employed.
6. What’s the Empathy Index score?
In the analysis that follows, references to the sales team (them) are
in boldface; references to Les and the company (us) are underlined.
Hi Sales Team:
Leaving eyeglass frames scattered over the counter looks
chaotic and unappealing to customers entering our stores. It
also creates confusion in customers who are trying on frames,
making it hard for them to make a choice.
Effective immediately, please ensure that frames aren’t left
haphazardly on the counter.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Best, Les
Them 4
Us (2)
Empathy Index 2
Hands-on Writing Workshop