I ask that you take some negative event that has happened in your life and review it. I mean all of it.
I'll give you a short example taken from my life. My parents died within six months of each other: first my Dad when I was 15; then my Mom when I was 16. Both my parents died of cirrhosis of the liver. Because they each suffered from the progressive disease of alcoholism, they had been incapable of taking proper care of me for quite a while. Later in life, when I was able to look at the bigger picture, I was able to see that the need to fend for myself at such an early age led to me developing into the person I ultimately became.