THE THIRD AGREEMENT IS DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem
with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear
they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking —
we take it personally — then we blame them and react by sending emotional
poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re
asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it
personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making
assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment to consider the truth
of this statement. The whole war of control between humans is about making
assumptions and taking things personally. Our whole dream of hell is based on
that.
We create a lot of emotional poison just by making assumptions and taking it
personally, because usually we start gossiping about our assumptions.
Remember, gossiping is the way we communicate to each other in the dream of
hell and transfer poison to one another. Because we are afraid to ask for
clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the
assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else
wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because
assumptions set us up for suffering.