TF: There’s a de emphasis on taking feeling seriously on some level, Like not exploring
what goes on inside us when we become triggered by our partners, for example.
JW: Yes. The truth is, most of us don't get as triggered anywhere in our lives as
much as in intimate relationships. So if we use spiritual bypassing to avoid
facing our relational wounds, we’re missing out on a tremendous area of
practice. Relational practice helps us develop compassion “in the trenches,”
where our wounds are most activated.
And beyond compassion we also need to develop attunement: the ability to see
and feel what another person is going through what we could call “accurate
empathy.” Attunement is essential for I Thou connectedness, but it’s only
possible if we can first of all be attuned to ourselves and track what we are going
through.