Greetings potential "old pears" and nannies!
We are seeking a full time au pair/nanny for 45+ hours a week, 9 hours a day Monday through Friday. Primary duty is taking care of our 13 month old son. He is quite heavy at around 25 pounds and likes to move around so someone who is able to carry up to 50 lbs is needed. You will build an Arnold-like physique in no time. He also likes to make sudden movements for no reason whatsoever and power-crawl his way out of your reach, so you should have lightning fast reflexes as well.
Looking for candidates with infant experience. Feed him some formula, feed him some gummable foods, change his diapers, wipe his baby butt clean, walk him around, play with him in the playroom, talk to him, read to him, calm him down, put him to sleep for his naps, basically 9 hours of focused attention without distraction. Definitely not looking for someone who texts and surfs while the baby self-babysits himself.
Duties will also include cleaning up after the baby and all things baby-related: Dishes, keeping his play area vacuumed and pristine, washing his baby cloth and beddings, sanitizing his high chair and eating area after every meal, etc. The overall compensation package will be EXTREMELY satisfactory, but you must be BEYOND qualified. Cause and effect. You reap what you sow.
For those of you without experience but thinks this should be easy... listen... taking care of a baby sounds easy in theory, but 9 hours of focused and undivided attention, in reality, is very draining. You need to want the job, want the experience, want the compensation, want the free housing, want the free food, want to be in the DTLA/Arcadia area (more on that below), want to be paid above and beyond the average au pair/nanny, want to use this 12-24 months and build up some REAL savings to catapult you into accomplishing whatever goal you have dreamed up for yourself for the rest of your life. You need to want all that in order for you to get the motivation you need to do this job day in and day out, without ever calling in sick, without ever showing up for work minus your A-game. I don't want to hear excuses, I don't want to call in a sitter at the very last minute. I want to reserve my mental energy for business endeavors and not for juggling trivial baby-related stuff from an employee who is too immature to do what she's paid to do.
Successful candidate will be a self-starter with a can do attitude, highly organized, OCD neat freak, naturally maternalistic, honest and trust worthy, genuine caring attitude toward the baby day in and day out, with an extremely high tolerance to hanging out with a drooling, food-throwing baby without wanting to pull your hair out and sulk in the corner praying to the au pair gods for a ticket back home.
I just want to get that out of the way because this is hard work, you WILL reach your 45 hour limit every single week. High levels of performance will be expected out of you by your employer -- me. But at the same time, you will also be compensated handsomely for your child rearing expertise. So if that's not you, RUN! Click that back button and never turn back!!!
Word of advice: Nobody will be able to bamboozle themselves into this job. The vetting process is thorough, and if you somehow miraculously get through but are not qualified or are not what you represented yourself to be, you will be terminated faster than you can unpack your suitcase. Your entire duty will be presented to you in a 20+ page dossier prior to finalizing the host-employer/au pair-employee relationship. The document will be signed and notarized. You will know exactly what your duties are and what rules to follow. If any of the job criteria are not met termination will be immediate, swift, and final.
I'm looking for the top 0.01% of au pairs. The Master Chief of au pairs. The Gordon Ramsay of au pairs. The Katniss Everdeen of au pairs. You get the idea.
All potential finalist candidates must agree to be screened thoroughly and must pass each and every background checks without exception:
-enhanced security background investigation
-criminal history search including all locations lived in during the past 7 years
-auxiliary national criminal search including records for the past 7 years
-global terrorist search
-social security number trace
-motor vehicle report
-verification of CPR certification
-5-panel drug test
-signed confidentiality agreement
-signed employment agreement with clear termination clauses
-degree verification
-etc.
Think of it this way: You are coming into my home, living under my roof, taking care of the one single most precious thing in the entire universe to me while I am away. You can bet the farm you will be thoroughly vetted.
Anything and everything will be thrown in your way to prevent you from getting this position. Apply at your own peril as rejection is almost a certainty.