Using the stepladder approach for anxiety in children
The stepladder approach works like this:
Start with a situation or thing that causes your child the least anxiety. Sometimes you might need to put your child in this situation a few times until he feels comfortable with it.
Move on to another situation that makes him feel a bit more anxious. Again, go through it a few times until he can handle it.
Gradually move through more and more challenging situations.
When using the stepladder approach for anxiety in children, it’s important to encourage your child by giving lots of praise for achieving each step on the ladder.
You can also use rewards as incentives for your child to move forward. Rewards might include an extra book in the evening, more cuddle time with you, or a trip to the park. Make sure the reward matches the degree of difficulty – for example, don’t give a small reward for the most difficult step.
Note: the stepladder approach can be used with children of all ages. Grown-ups can use it too.
Coping in difficult situations
You can help your child develop some tricks and strategies for coping in anxious situations:
Younger children (3-6 years): help your child to come up with a phrase she can say when she’s in an anxious situation. For example, ‘I can be brave’, ‘This is a friendly dog’ or ’Mummy will come back’.
Older children (seven years or older): your child might learn more quickly during the steps on his ladder if you help him to think realistically. For example, encourage your child to ask himself questions such as, ’What happened last time?’ and ‘How likely is it that it will happen?’
Being a role model
Children learn how to cope with difficult situations by watching other people (their role models) and listening to what those people say. So think about how you act and what you say in situations that you find stressful. For example, you might want to avoid saying things like, ‘A spider! You should stay away from spiders. They can kill you, you know’.
Benefits of the stepladder approach
Children get used to facing the situations that make them anxious. This is better than avoiding them.
Children face their fears and find out that they might not be so bad after all.
Children get to use and practise the skills and techniques that they’ve developed for coping.
Children get a great sense of achievement as they progress ‘up’ the stepladder.