Italy Wants to Send Vegan Parents to Jail
Ron Swanson has left Pawnee. He now works for the national government of Italy.
A law has been proposed in the Italian parliament that would, “hold parents legally responsible for feeding their children on 'a diet devoid of elements essential for healthy and balanced growth.'"
Vegans. They’re talking about Vegans.
 
The rule, proposed by lawmaker Elvira Savino-Swanson, comes on the heels of several uber-public malnourishment cases in the Italian media. Four children in the past year and a half have been hospitalized after their parents kept them on a vegan diet.
"I have nothing against vegans or veganism as long as it is a free choice by adults,” says Savino. “I just find it absurd that some parents are allowed to impose their will on children in an almost fanatical, religious way, often without proper scientific knowledge or medical consultation.”
As with any story concerning vegans, tempers are high. As we speak, the hippies are writing furious, wordy op-eds on their sustainable living blogs, while the carnivores laugh and cheer from their trailers.
So it’s important to point out that the proposed law doesn’t actually outlaw keeping your kid vegan. You’re only guilty of a crime if little Mario gets sick because he’s not getting all the vitamins and nutrients he needs. You can still torture your child with tofu and asparagus all you want, so long as you do your research and aren’t dumb about it.
“…for now,” mumbles Duke Silver.