Book: Punished by Rewards
It seems to me the biggest goal that we really all have, is to help our kids develop into adult human beings who have their own healthy internal motivation. It's a fair question to ask whether external factors like punishments & rewards, really nurture the INTERNAL motivation within a human being for the long term. There's a really provocative book called "Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise & Other Bribes." The author is a guy named Alfie Kohn. The way I read his book, the bottom line is that human beings do not like to be manipulated or controlled, and both the carrot and the stick, according to his explanation of psychological research, are counterproductive in many circumstances. If you're game to stretch your brain a bit, try reading that book. I personally really felt like the explanation of the difference between Encouragement and Praise was very helpful to me as a parent.
—Guest kelly Cusick