I was at the terrible, growing years. War years I do not remember them well, I was working, there were four smaller ones now, there was not time for her. She had to help and house keeper, and shopper. She had to mother, and Mornings hysteria ying to get lunches packed, hair combed, coats and shoes found, everyone to school or Child Care on time, the baby ready for trans portation. And always the paper scribbled on by a smaller one, the book looked at by Susan then mislaid, the homework not done. Running out to that huge school where she was one, she was lost, she was a drop, suffer ing over the unpreparedness, stammering and unsure in her classes.