Splitting "the burden": If you have siblings, it gets even harder: Who will take the responsibility? The sibling doing most of the caregiving could easily get resentful of the others, and those who aren't doing the caregiving could feel guilty. In this case, Diane Carbo, RN, suggests setting up a family care contract, in which the family member taking responsibility of the elderly parents gets paid from family funds. This reduces resentment and can offer other benefits:
Having a formalized care giver contract can allow the aging senior to utilize their assets to remain at home, receive quality care and financially reward the individual that is providing that care. This can provide the family caregiver with protection should the other family members pursue legal action after the aging senior is deceased. It is unfortunate, but it does happen more often than you think.
(Why is being part of a family so hard??)
Ultimately, your parents' health and needs should influence this decision the most. If they need 24/7 care or have complicated health issues, they'll likely be better off with long-term care housing. On the other hand, if you are able to take care of them, there's something to be said for spending as much time with your parents before they die. Whatever option you decide on with your family, remind everyone that it's about keeping your parents' best interests at heart.
Support Your Parents Emotionally and Care for Yourself
Finally, maybe it won't be just one Big Talk—it might be a series of them. Both you, your parents, and your other family members will likely have a hard time talking about it, because, frankly, the situation sucks and there are so many things to consider. Candi Wingate, president of Care4Hire advises: