Add Numbers or Statistics in Every Sentence
Generalities are hard to understand, and often they’re dull and uninteresting.
Converting general statements into specific statements engages
readers’ interest by increasing believability. One of the easiest ways to
add specificity is to add numbers or statistics.
For example, if you send an E-mail to your boss informing him or her
that the holiday party you were charged with organizing will come in
under budget, that’s good news, but some bosses might say that it sounds
too good to be true. If, however, you report that the holiday party will
come in $467.32 under budget, that’s credible. Adding the specific number
automatically enhances believability.
Instead of “Everyone had a good time at the conference,” say “Ninetyfour
percent of conference participants reported they had an excellent or
very good time.” Instead of “The need for creative waste management
solutions is increasing each year,” say “With solid waste increasing at over
14 percent a year, the need for creative waste management solutions
becomes more urgent each year.”
Henry, who owns a commercial printing company, explains that he writes
collection letters to customers whose bills are overdue. “When an account
is more than forty-five days past due, I send a letter. I used to say, ‘Your
account is overdue.’ Now I say, ‘Your account is more than fifty-two days
overdue.’ Adding the number of days makes my letter more powerful.”
Notice that small changes generate big benefits. As you read the following
alternative sentences, consider which one of each pair is more
credible.