Was intentionality involved?
If responding to something someone said or did, ask yourself if there was intentionality involved. Did the other person mean to be unkind?
Before reacting to words or actions I might not employ myself, I will still try to understand motive. I’ll try to ask myself if the other person meant to be mean or if he was simply being ignorant.
If someone is simply being thoughtless, it’s usually not worth the energy required for a clever put-down. If a person is really ignorant, he might not even understand my barb, and not being understood has never made me feel good.